post show horrors

Sometimes when she returns from a show, she becomes a no-show.

How's that you may ask.  Well being older than dirt and dinosaurs, she is quite simply about as good as what you find in my litter box.  If you need a photo, leave me your email and I'll send you one.  A picture that is. Not the litterbox contents.

Anyway, so as I was saying..... it may take a few days to get back into the daily order of life and responsibilities.  Things like remembering it's time for my snacks, plumping up my bed, fixing my dinner, and other such critical matters.

This time however, things were different when she got home.  Her show space was outside and included (at no extra charge) rain during set up on Thursday.  Storms were rolling in Friday evening which meant that some of the merchandise was put back in the trailer, the tent lowered and everything else sheltered as much as possible.  During the night, a generous thunderstorm left 3 1/2 inches of rain during Friday evening and early Saturday morning.  Saturday arrival was a very pleasant challenge.  Rain drenched merchandise due to a collapsed canopy on the tent.  The recovery time of approximately 2 hours needed to remove water from everything.

So you can fairly presume (notice I didn't use the word "assume") that I needed to go into hiding before she returned home.  No, I am not a coward, simply a very smart feline.  Indeed!

To my great surprise, she was still functional and went right to work cleaning the screened in porch.  Pulling the garden hose in and moving furniture out.  To the driveway and deck.  I suspect that if the driveway display had been more appealing, we probably could have had a sold out garage sale.  Instead, I believe I saw several cars speed up.  No doubt for fear that something might jump out in front of them from our driveway.  Can't say I blame them. (Sorry, no photo...some things just should not be shown for fear of liability from shock, heart attacks and other such mental trauma induced ailments)

After two days of cleaning pollen, dust and unknown specimens of alien life from every surface on the porch, things began to take shape again.  A new.  Some things did not return into the porch, some did and there was even a new addition when the loveseat from the kitchen area was banished moved out there.

And this year, Halloween decor would make a comeback.  Last year, I sent her to the Country Living show in both Columbus, Ohio and Atlanta, Georgia so Halloween didn't stop here.  This year however, out came boxes and bags and a bit of imagination that was still left after the show.  And here's what she accomplished.....

And....she added a little bit of Halloween inside the house too!

And if I wasn't already scared.... she took the time to make two handmade medallions.  Check out the black one below and the cat on the pumpkin in the following photo.

Okay, so now I've shown you a large part of what took place right after she returned home.  With energy.  And her mind intact.  Well at least a good percentage of what she left with (which isn't necessarily alot but...)  Is it any wonder at all, why my whiskers are trembling?!?!  I mean this is unprecedented!

And I was even thinking of placing an ad here, requesting a temporary vacation with any one of you wonderful souls.  But I needed to clear my mind as to find the right words so as to invoke great pity......

....... so I went for a walk through my catnip patch......

......and that's when the real horror hit me.  My catnip was gone!!!! Every last leaf and twig of it!!!!

.......She's been into my catnip!!!! 

.....certainly explains A LOT.....but no worries.....

.....that patch of catnip was still there because.....

....... I'd seen the neighbors dog in there. Standing on three legs......

.......now who's horrified.... MOL...... yes, a very smart feline indeed!

Halloween: Rearranging junk and it's dirt.

Out comes the bleach cleaner, windex and feather duster.

Next comes the vacuum cleaner, dust pan and broom.

The glass is polished, the dust bunnies banished and cobwebs disappear.

Clean.

Clean some more.

What's a cat to think?

Is company coming?

Maybe Ed McMann to deliver the Publisher's Clearing House million dollar check?!?

None of the above?

Oh yes, how could I forget?  It's time for a little fall cleaning.  Especially for Halloween.

Clean?  For Halloween? Creepy, forelorn, haunting and dusty Halloween?????

"She" cleans before putting out the Halloween.  And I'm not referring to throw a sheet over the furniture. Does this cleaning thing sound logical to you?

What?!

You're kidding, right?

I see you are in need of some enlightenment.....Let's think about this together okay?  Although there are new Halloween decorations, "she" also likes to include those old beat up things "she" already has.  Most of which are probably held together with old glue and maybe a touch of dirt.

Or maybe more dirt than material substance.  

Having lived here these past years, I have decided that I've developed an immunity to every known dirt spore, dust monster virus, and  general old stuff allergen.  To live here, you would have to develop an immunity....or die trying.

Anyway, this old tattered stuff seems to be everywhere, no matter the season or decor.  Especially for Halloween decor.  "She" thinks it's purrfect.  And I'm smart enough to know better than to tell "her" otherwise.

Pitifully sad really.  

No, not pitiful in that old is what "she" prefers. (I've decided "she's" just weird that way.)  What I'm saying is pitiful because for days "she" cleans, straightens and rearranges vignettes.

Only to declare it complete when spider webs are added right back where they were recently erased from being. And the spiders themselves smashed with "her" broom or sucked up in the vacuum cleaner if they are on the porch.

And there are about thirty holes dug in the dirt with headstones sitting in them. Lots of dirt.  Lots of holes. I'm thinking purrhaps a gopher would be of great assistance next year. Or maybe I could dig some holes. Of course I'd even be considerate enough to leave a present or two in some of the holes ;) Betcha the gopher wouldn't be that nice.....

And complete/done includes dead crispy flowers as part of the decor for the dearly departed souls.

Natural elements such as tree branches and moss are purrfectly necessary too.  But when I try and assist, dragging in a lizard, "she" throws it back out the door. I assure you it would have looked better than that masked rubber rat!

Clean, straighten, rearrange.  So that faux-neglect of old, tattered, spooky and haunted can be added back in to create the purrfect Halloween setting of a neglected haunting decor.  

Wouldn't it make more sense to just use the existing dirt and cobwebs for some authenticity!?!?!??

Seems like an obsessive, compulsive disorder turned inside out.  Purrhaps?

Notes to self: 

• Next year go ahead and proceed with natural fertilizer in the flower beds - "she" will thank you for the dead flowers later.
• Collect about half a dozen lizards late summer. Timing is important so that when "she" finds them under the sofa they look mummified.  "She" will thank you for your contribution to the natural elements category later when the shock wears off.

• Do not use the coffin as a litter box.  It leaves no doubt whatsoever as to the guilty party and results in being grounded for the month of October.

If you're read this far and have not been scared away by all this creepy old stuff, it would seem that you are up for some more adventures.  You are some kind of brave!

Please do stop by again later, so that I have company and someone to hold my paw during the really scary parts.  You see, I signed us up to participate in Vanessa's Halloween Party at the Fanciful Twist on October 16th!  Oh  yes, there's more to be seen......hang on to your whiskers! It's bound to be fun!