SIRENS!   The doorbell.

Your first and last warning that all is about to be turned upside down.

I should have seen it coming.  “She” had been cleaning and straightening all day.  Dad mowed the grass and hung up shutters.  Shutters that the house has been without for 30 something years and done just fine.  All the signs were there.  LOTS of signs that I should have paid more attention to. 

But I didn’t. 

And then it was too late.

The aliens arrived. 

Three of them to be exact. 

Right through the front door.  My whiskers curled on sight.  I ran to the door and tried to beat it down.  But no one paid me any attention.  Instead all attention was on the alien life forms that now stood in our living room. 

I hid.

And waited for them to leave.

But it didn’t happen.  They stayed.  Big mistake on “her” part.  Too much niceness and hospitality.  And to  alien life forms no less.  “She” doesn’t feed me as well as “she” fed them.  So they stayed.

AND spent the night. 

By now my whiskers are having seizures and starting to bend  into poodle curls.

Finally they go to bed.  I plead and beg with “her” to open the door so that I may escape.  I promise to return with help.  The nearest Army Reserve, National Guard or even the Peace Corps – whoever I can find first. 
I’ll give them the address. 

And then I will continue on my way.

In the opposite direction.

But my plan is transparent to “her”.  I am told that I am not allowed outside because “she” fears I might not return until they leave.  Like DUH?!?  I may not have been quick enough to take heed of the signs nor quick enough to get out the door when the doorbell siren went off; but by gosh I am not going to be stupid no more.  No way!   Open the door and I am gone and no, I will NOT come back.  Not until the alien life forms are gone.

I look up.  “She” has walked away and the door stays closed.  And locked.

Day two hundred eighty-five.  They are still here.  The doors are still locked.  And “she” continues to feed them.  My whiskers remained curled into a permanent poodle pattern.  Oh the horror!  What will my friends Kramer and Charlie say?

They have installed a radar swing in the backyard.  I am sure they are sending communications home or to their mother ship.

Day three thousand forty-six.  They are still here.  The doors remained locked. Will they never leave?!  I think I smell smoke – it’s my whiskers….or maybe my tail.  I can no longer tell.  My senses have become dulled hiding here behind the sofa.

It is 2 p.m., day three thousand forty-six.  They are packing up their ray guns, ammunition, and power packs toys, baby food, and suitcases.  Could it finally have ended?  Did “she” finally run out of food??!

2:30 p.m., day three thousand forty-six.  I activate defense shields come out from behind the sofa as they exit the house.

I watch as they leave.  I wait by the window for hours.

They do not return.  The aliens have left and my life is back to normal.

However, I am not sure where they were headed. They will say they are relatives - while here they used "Grandson", "Son" and "Daughter-in-law".  They may use another alias at another location. So beware.  Watch for the signs, heed the sirens – run for your life and find cover.  Your house may be next. 


Linda said...

Oh No Poor Romeo! I will let Charlie know to be on the lookout for Alien life forms also. Sigh...at least they are gone...for now...

Cat Nap Inn Primitives said...

Oh Romeo Romeo where for art though Romeo..how do I love thee let me count thy ways!!! Romeo you are the best story teller ever..I was on pins and needles reading and I am so glad you came out alive through all of this...:)have a wonderfully quiet sunday.;)

Lululiz said...

Oh dear me, you poor Romeo. I hope your whiskers have lost their poodle curliness and are back to normal. Now, do tell me, how are you going to take your revenge on "HER" for treating "them" so well and you so shabbily???

Nishant said...

where for art though Romeo.
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Cat Nap Inn Primitives said...

Oh Romeo you and your person are most welcome to come and sit a spell and watch the birds and squirrels...Make sure your mama gives you a great big love from me..:)
p.s. my kids say hi.;)

vintagesusie & wings said...

Too cute & clever my friend...I love this post & poor Romeo! LOL You made me smile...thanks friend & thanks Romeo for your insight into aliens!!

cats of wildcat woods said...

Those aliens can stay and stay if fed well...poor Romeo!

Rella said...

OMG.....this is too funny! Well, Romeo..Ms. Pia (Brat Cat) sends her condolences as she just about looses all her black hair when the doorbell rings and the hissy fits begin. She detests aliens of all shape and size and truth be known, she barely tolerates ME....so she truly sympathizes with you for these awful days you had to endure.

xox Rella & Pia

Plumrose Lane said...

Thanks so much for stopping by my blog and for your lovely comment or was that "her"?
Whatever the case, what a treasure of a blog you have, wow! I hope you don't mind but I just had to grab your sidebar badge and place it under my "Inspirations".
Will definitely be back for more.

The Rustic Victorian said...

Oh goodness,,Romeo, you are at the bottom of my giggles, well written, and you did survive, you deserve a special treat. It's enough to want to give them a special hairball, on the bed, in the middle of the night. Company effects me the same way, I find comfort that, I am not alone.
Miz Pennywinkle

Anonymous said...

Hello there Romeo...so nice to meet you! Glad to hear the aliens are gone and things are back to normal:) Thanks so much for checking out my office chair makeover....it sure was fun to create!

Karen Valentine said...

Hi Romeo! I just wanted to let you you know I added "her" studio to the party list! I do hope you show yourself in some of her pics! See you then!!!
My Desert Cottage
Valentine Design

Anonymous said...

Romeo, I get so lost when going on a trip on your Blog site!!!!! I'm in a different world when I review all of your "junk", as you call it, but it is absolutely fantastic and so interesting - your Mom is incredibly artistic!!!!!!!!! She has an imangination that is superb!!!!!!
That small kitty in a gold, antique frame with a mirror is my favorite - but then there is the moon cat which seems like an illusion. I could go on and on, but you got the idea -
Oh, then there is the beautiful Mothers Day verse - touched my heart ----
Please hug your Mom for me, she is a great success !!!!!! Ginger