Sirens?

SIRENS!   The doorbell.

Your first and last warning that all is about to be turned upside down.

I should have seen it coming.  “She” had been cleaning and straightening all day.  Dad mowed the grass and hung up shutters.  Shutters that the house has been without for 30 something years and done just fine.  All the signs were there.  LOTS of signs that I should have paid more attention to. 

But I didn’t. 

And then it was too late.

The aliens arrived. 

Three of them to be exact. 

Right through the front door.  My whiskers curled on sight.  I ran to the door and tried to beat it down.  But no one paid me any attention.  Instead all attention was on the alien life forms that now stood in our living room. 

I hid.

And waited for them to leave.

But it didn’t happen.  They stayed.  Big mistake on “her” part.  Too much niceness and hospitality.  And to  alien life forms no less.  “She” doesn’t feed me as well as “she” fed them.  So they stayed.

AND spent the night. 

By now my whiskers are having seizures and starting to bend  into poodle curls.

Finally they go to bed.  I plead and beg with “her” to open the door so that I may escape.  I promise to return with help.  The nearest Army Reserve, National Guard or even the Peace Corps – whoever I can find first. 

I’ll give them the address. 

And then I will continue on my way.

In the opposite direction.

But my plan is transparent to “her”.  I am told that I am not allowed outside because “she” fears I might not return until they leave.  Like DUH?!?  I may not have been quick enough to take heed of the signs nor quick enough to get out the door when the doorbell siren went off; but by gosh I am not going to be stupid no more.  No way!   Open the door and I am gone and no, I will NOT come back.  Not until the alien life forms are gone.

I look up.  “She” has walked away and the door stays closed.  And locked.

Day two hundred eighty-five.  They are still here.  The doors are still locked.  And “she” continues to feed them.  My whiskers remained curled into a permanent poodle pattern.  Oh the horror!  What will my friends Kramer and Charlie say?

They have installed a radar swing in the backyard.  I am sure they are sending communications home or to their mother ship.

Day three thousand forty-six.  They are still here.  The doors remained locked. Will they never leave?!  I think I smell smoke – it’s my whiskers….or maybe my tail.  I can no longer tell.  My senses have become dulled hiding here behind the sofa.

It is 2 p.m., day three thousand forty-six.  They are packing up their ray guns, ammunition, and power packs toys, baby food, and suitcases.  Could it finally have ended?  Did “she” finally run out of food??!

2:30 p.m., day three thousand forty-six.  I activate defense shields come out from behind the sofa as they exit the house.

I watch as they leave.  I wait by the window for hours.

They do not return.  The aliens have left and my life is back to normal.

However, I am not sure where they were headed. They will say they are relatives - while here they used "Grandson", "Son" and "Daughter-in-law".  They may use another alias at another location. So beware.  Watch for the signs, heed the sirens – run for your life and find cover.  Your house may be next.